Liberal? HA!

(note: Sporkeypost)

Forget "Liberal".

Let's start really screwing with the wingnut's heads. How about "socialist"?

First, we need to change the meaning of the word. And repeat it, reapeat it, reapeat it.

Religion?

"No, I'm not a Liberal. I'm a Neosocialist. I believe in God, but the real, true God, and I believe in Jesus, the real, true and everlasting words of Jesus. 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Is that such a horrible rule to live by? Decency? Respect? Love? I don't think so. And every American, both Christian and non-Christian, can abide by those simple words of Jesus. 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.' I don't put myself above God, nor do I claim to know what God will do. To do so puts you on God's level, and weren't the first man and woman booted out of Eden for that? I'm not God and to tell the world that I am, or to know God's will, well, that just is plain sinful. You're an idol then, and God doesn't want that. And the people who believe you are...well, they're just as sinful. We've all committed sins, and we'll pay our price for them. That's not my department...that's God's. To judge someone as God does is asking for the Lord to judge you the same way. And by the way, let's not forget 'What you do for the least of my brethern, you do for me.' So, in that vein, I believe in socal programs that truly uplift those in poverty, like funding education so that no child goes through life illiterate, or programs that actually can help the sick and needy. Homosexuals and abortions? I'm not going to pretend that those are truly that important. Joe America's being played for a fool, and rich are winning."

Class Warfare?

"I'm a Neosocialist. Yes, there is class warfare. Joe America may not realize the depth of it. The rich control the media, and Joe hears he needs this, he needs that, and above all, don't pay attention to the rich laughing at him. All Joe America wants is to feed his family. And the rich are stealing his money...he pays far more taxes than the rich. Of course, it's in the rich's interest that Joe America votes for candidate who wants tax cuts...it benefits them. Joe may get a few more pennies that, if he puts them in a jar for the next four years, may buy him a gumball. They tell Joe that it's the poor people's fault because they're on welfare, scamming him, and that's why his paycheck doesn't cover all of his bills. That's just a load of hooey. The real reason Joe can't pay his bills? The rich want to be richer. They want to be so rich that they can roll around in money, fill swimming pools with their pocket change, and would rather Joe be a slave so that they can eat caviar and drink champagne and laugh at him. Frankly, I'm sick at millionaires laughing at everyone else, like we're completely stupid. Aren't you?"

Tax and Spend?

"Well, think of it like this: I go a to job, I get paid for my work, and that money goes to my bills. That's what taxes are like. We need a military, a good military, and to fund it, because we as a people need it, we tax. It benefits everyone to have a military. Same with schools. Same with a lot of things. I mean, how many fighter craft can you really shoot down with a hunting rifle? And would you rather have someone recieve money to go to school, so that you don't have to come home to find your house robbed of everything? And would you like the police to show up if they did?"

Well, that's all I can think of now. I'm sure I'll come up with something more.