Monday, July 26, 2004

Ann Coulter raises my bar

You know how I'm kind of trying (albeit weakly) to go for a "right-wing style"? And I express concern that "it may take me a while to become as extreme in my style as I'm shooting for"? Ann Coulter seems to be trying real hard to raise the bar for that style.

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazoned with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling....
As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the U.N. Security Council's approval. Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie-chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

As Dave Barry would say, "I am not making this up."

1 comment:

Sporkey said...

No. I think she's wrong. Pretty girls are not concerned about politics. They like to stand around the poor liberal boys, flashing watches and new clothes, and basically make them feel bad that their daddies don't make lots of money. Because pretty girls don't care about anything except money or appearance. Which is why they allowed Coulter to hang around them. She can make Joan Rivers look like a sex goddess. And Coulter gets to pretend that she's an actual person! Win-Win!